This weekend I was visiting family friends at my Dad’s place, and on Sunday morning before eating breakfast we got to talking, mostly about books. He is someone who gravitates more towards non-fiction. I tend to read novels in my spare time, though I will slip in non-fiction from time to time. Currently one book that I read a few pages of here and there is Thomas Cahill’s Mysteries of the Middle Ages. It deals primarily with the influence of Christian thought on the word throughout the middle ages. That of course brought the question: ‘Do you discuss religion with your dad at all?’
The answer is no. Not because its something I avoid because he is my father, but because it is not something I often enjoy discussing, for the same reason I dislike political debates. Arguments with a person who believes in a religious or political viewpoint strongly enough to deny any logical arguments which he perceives to ‘attack’ or deliberately oppose their own viewpoint are exercises in futility and leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. To clarify, I’m not saying my father falls into this category.He is a spiritual guy, but its never been a real issue.
At any rate, I was asked if I believe in God. I said that I consider myself to be Agnostic. In that moment though I realized that I’m probably more of an Atheist at this point. I considered myself to be a spiritual person, but I think I mistook my reverence for things such as the natural world and for some of the more amazing things we encounter on this planet as spirituality, when it really just boils down to a desire to be amazed by something I’ve never seen, and subsequently learn about it (in a logical way).
Of course this also comes to mind from time to time due to the past couple of years. I was living a life where, though my core beliefs weren’t changed in any significant way, I was constantly having to show a side of myself that didn’t exist. A false spiritual face concocted to reassure people that I was a Good Person. I’ve become sick of it though.
I don’t believe in God. I don’t believe in spirits. I believe that we evolved from single celled organisms and I believe that the wonderful things on our planet are truly wonderful, but that they can also be understood and in that understanding we are truly enlightened.